The other day my teacher mentioned she was studying the emotional state of students at school. It crossed my mind to let her know about my anxiety privately, but the face to face approach is not my cup of tea. I went home and told my mom about it. We talked about how pleased we were that someone was doing research on this topic. I really wanted to tell my teacher my story in hopes of helping her research, but I knew I would never have the confidence to approach her. Luckily, my mom suggested I email the blog to her. She had nothing but nice things to say which I truly appreciate. The next day she invited me to a group that she has in the mornings before school. When she confronted me I froze up and vaguely remembered the details about the meetings. The following school day she gave me a pass to attend the meeting. I thought it would be interesting to hear from other people and decided to go. She again gave me the details, but I panicked when she approached me and only remembered that the gathering would be the next morning and an announcement would be made. As silly as it sounds I can’t control the fear I feel when an adult talks to me. That night I was so nervous because I was too afraid of how to get to the meeting. I don’t do well with new routines. The day of the meeting I went into full panic mode as I was afraid of getting my pass rejected. I ate breakfast and waited for the announcement, but it never came. At this point I was having anxiety. I texted my mom and she told me to ask the hall monitor if I could go. I couldn’t figure out why my mom would tell me this as she knows I can barely approach kids much less teachers. We texted back and forth for about ten minutes. My mom was trying to help me calm my anxiety while trying to convince me to ask someone. I finally got the courage to ask if I could go. I made it to the ending part of it. I was a bit upset at myself for taking so long to ask and missing all of it. Two days later the teacher made a comment, “You should’ve come this morning.” Honestly, I didn’t even know there was another meeting.
I thought it was ironic that a gathering that I believed would help me with my anxiety somehow, has caused me so much mental stress. I hope that I can make it to one of the meetings, so I can see that I have other peers that struggle alongside me. I wish I could tell her to just email me or give me a paper copy of the times and days of when the group meets. I wish I could just get over these panic attacks.
Forever and Always, Anxieteen;
Anxieteen 
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