I was in a cold classroom, and I felt like I was dying. I had a sore throat, a runny nose, and what felt like a fever. Not to mention my anxiety was at its maximum. My fear of vomiting always increases when I’m feeling ill. Every pain and feeling triples with my anxiety.  It had been 2 days since I started to feel this way. My temperature was fine and I couldn’t see redness in my throat. So, I made my way to school Monday morning. I had been wanting to go to the nurse but was too afraid. As silly as it sounds, I’m not sure what I was afraid of. Tears secretly fell throughout the day as I couldn’t control my anxiety or the way I was feeling. Finally between passing periods, I hesitantly made my way to the nurse’s office. It took everything in me to go only to get rejected because I didn’t have a pass. I was so mad and ashamed at myself for not knowing better. I let my fear of rejection become a reality and that was on me. I couldn’t shake what I was feeling.  “You need a pass,” crept in my mind as I struggled to figure out a way to ask for a nurse pass. It took me all day to work up the courage to ask the teacher for a nurse pass. Thankfully, I was given one.  Whenever I got to the nurse everything turned out fine, I had no fever and most of the mucus in my nose had gone away. I figured it was my anxiety that had just made me feel 100 times worse.  I went the rest of the day and through basketball practice feeling miserable.  It wasn’t until I got home that I checked my temperature and discovered I had a fever. I guess I wasn’t going crazy after all. I felt a slight panic as I knew I wouldn’t be able to go to school the next day. I’m sure feeling anxiety is automatic when you’re sick. Though, I can’t help but wonder how my sickness would feel if my anxiety was nonexistent.

Forever and Always, Anxieteen;