There I was left standing in the room, a laminated tutoring pass in my hand. I felt my heart drop to my stomach, as my band teacher walked away. I had asked to go to algebra tutoring, she looked at me in disappointment, saying that I was going too much and that I had to tell my algebra teacher that we didn’t just fool around in class the whole day. I went to tutoring, picking my nails off the whole time. By the time it ended, I squeamishly went up to my teacher, who is known for being strict. I explained the situation in nicer terms than what my band teacher said. Unfortunately what I said went through one ear out the other. “Yeah, There’s tutoring Mondays, Wednesdays, and Thursdays, you get to go to band for two days that should be enough” she said, turning back to her desk. I left, not wanting to anger her. At the time, I wished I could just tear myself in half. Their words felt heavy on my heart as both subjects were equally important to me. I didn’t want to anger either one of them. I guess I should be happy that two out of my  seven classes were the only ones requiring tutoring.  Sadly, I spent the rest of the day worrying about it, and I was unable to think about anything else. I knew I wasn’t the only student that had the problem of not knowing what to choose. I wondered why they couldn’t come up with a schedule for all students who had to attend tutoring or practice. Instead, we heard both of them upset and angry every time we left their classroom for other classrooms during the advisory period.  I told my mom about it and she assured me that she would take care of it. I’m guessing she did as both teachers were very nice when it came to the tutoring schedule.  I’m assuming having an A in algebra and playing my instrument well helped a lot too. 

Although my anxiety went into full effect, the fear of getting into trouble surpassed all other feelings.  Even though the talk with my Algebra teacher was a big fail, I was proud of myself for initiating the conversation.  Last year, I would have cried and said nothing. I understand life is about making decisions and I’m hoping I will get to the point where I will take care of every situation myself.  

Forever and Always, Anxieteen;